have you failed yet

I have a word, a simple word, it's 7 letters long and starts with a letter D... I'll give you the word but you must promise me first.... You won't run when you hear it... You must promise me you will stay till the end... So... What's the word? Will you stay or go?
 
Whether you have slacked off your new year's resolution or not, now is a good time to introduce one word that can reshape 2019. The word is discipline.
 
Wait! Before you run off screaming from sure defiance, let’s tilt it, just a bit.
 
Discipline, to be a disciple of the line.
 
What line, whose line, my line?
 
What does this line sound like, look like, dress like? What are the rules or parameters?
 
Very similar to boundaries, a disciple of the line is never about other people. We must identify the characteristics, needs and wants of your line before it can be used effectively. When you become intimate with this line, you will know where to draw it, when to move it and how to hold your line with integrity.
 
I am a disciple of what I know is right for me, a disciple of being what that means.
 
We can’t tow a line if we don’t know what it is made of or how it is woven. If we have sloppy braiding skills, we can’t tow a damn thing. We must know who we are, what we want and what we need. This is what creates consistent strength in the line you tow in relationship, choices for you and your family, work decisions and community involvement.
 
You've got it, we are almost at the line.
 
This comes back to basics that can be elusive, mysterious, curious and often confusing. WHO AM I.  Followed by a willingness to be so freaking uncomfortable because we may not know who we are. When we look closely in the dark we may discover that we have been following other lines of discipline that may not reflect our intended true self. 
 
Knowing what the line is comes from our original discovery of purpose, which is not supposed to be responding to what you want, what I think you want, what I think you think I want, what you think, I think, you think, I think you want, you need, I need, who I should be or you think I should be! These thoughts move so fast and so often we don’t even hear them.
 
Our line has been white noise!
 
A disciple of your line, their line, what line, who cares line, and what for? Who started this anyway?!
 
We seek validation and approval from other people, a system, a group, or an echo of grandparent’s disapproval, every day. We want to be a part of and we want to find our place in this world.
 
This is natural, this is normal.
 
The mastery of being a disciple is to step back for identification, to design or redesign the line we tow to reflect our authentic position in the world.
 
The miracle is, when we do this, what we truly want and need, shows up and we feel deeply satisfied. All because we had the courage to get real about the line we tow.
 
There are two parts of exploration in 2019, 1) get clear about who you are 2) be honest about the line you are a disciple to and change it accordingly.
 
Am I honoring my line, flipping the line, moving the line, redesigning the line to match what I think, you think, I think, I should be.
 
I am not here to morph my line to accommodate another person's line of discipleship. I am simply showing up in my own skin to be a disciple of who I am created to be.
 
If my line was intended to be any different than it is, I would not be who I am. 
 
PS, if the line you tow is gilded with threads of shame and restriction, you will fail and will only reinforce a self-sacrificial martyr system. So, shake the shit out of that shame, love your low self-esteem, be gentle as hell with your heart, pull hard and dig deep for all the compassion available inside of you, for you and get on your best line.